Jar of Hearts
by shasa
Summary: Sasuke is back in Konoha and Sakura isn't sure how she feels about it. Takes place over about a year, but it's kind of abstract and up to interpretation. Inspired by Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri. I own neither Naruto nor Jar of Hearts. ONESHOT!


So this is a oneshot that I was inspired to write after listening to Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri.

P.S. You should listen to the song. It's pretty!

And without further ado - enjoy! :)

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><p>"Sakura-chan!" Naruto called excitedly from my windowsill, like a giant blond blue-eyed bird.<p>

"What the… do you even know what time it is?" I croaked groggily, fully aware that I sounded like a cross between a frog and an old man; with a hint of pre-pubescent teenage boy.

"Sakura it's nine already. And that's not important!" Naruto is the adorable little brother I never had, I'll admit, but if he keeps this up all he'll get is ador-at-his-head.

"Sasuke's back, Sakura." I jolted up in my bed, ignoring the old springs creak in warning. We were both silent for a couple seconds as I searched his eyes for a hint of mirth, something that would give this perverse, too-far-gone joke away. Naruto's sky blue eyes were unusually serious, and he nodded imperceptibly in reassurance. Then with a smile full of understanding, he leapt away off of my rooftop and out of sight.

I was startled to find liquid dripping into the corner of my mouth. It tasted like salt water and heartbreak. I closed my eyes and let myself cry for the first time in years. I cried out of gratitude for Naruto, out of bitterness and anger towards Sasuke, lastly out of pent-up frustration at my many weaknesses. All the emotions I had pushed away came flooding back with frightening clarity.

I took a shaky step out of my bed, as if the very floor would be pulled out from under me. Metaphorically, it already had. I was running on routine, pure muscle memory. My mind, however, was racing with hypothetical scenarios, and as I pulled on my left nin sandal it came to one scary solution. I didn't know what to feel. I had never had to decide whether to feel scared, angry, sad, happy. However feeling all of them at once was just emotional overload.

Sasuke had always made everything complicated. I slammed a fist angrily into the cement next to my foot and watched with satisfaction as it spider webbed with cracks. It was time to pay shishou a visit.

I walked slowly to Tsunade-shishou's office, trying to convince myself that this was just a normal visit to the hokage, though I knew it was anything but. I wanted to know what was going to happen to Sasuke. I knocked hesitantly on the wooden doors, almost hoping she wouldn't hear me. My hopes were dashed when she barked "Come in!"

I took two steps in and froze, my eyes widening. Sasuke stood there with Naruto. The latter looked as if he had just been trying to plead with the Hokage, I could see the strain of trying to be polite (something that didn't come easily) in the lines of his face. I allowed my eyes to shift sideways to Sasuke's face. He wore no expression on his face; a truly impenetrable fortress to hide his emotions.

Or maybe he just had none, I thought mordantly . However the more I studied his face, the more that frighteningly possibility became likely. Even his eyes had lost their fire, their spark. My throat constricted and I could feel my own emotions forming a tidal wave in my gut. As they (well Naruto and Shishou) looked at me expectantly, I took another two steps and hesitated on the third, my foot an inch above the floor.

_I know I can't take one more step towards you  
>Cause all that's waiting is regret <em>

This shouldn't be happening. Sasuke… why did you have to come back? I tore my gaze from his face, spun on my heel and ran outside. Slamming the door shut I leaned back against it and slid to the ground, breathing raggedly. I could feel my pulse beating erratically.

My mind worked frenetically over one question. Why, why, why, why? Sasuke why did you come back? Why did you have to turn my whole world upside down again? I stood up and made my way back to my apartment

I stood outside my apartment as the rain dyed my hair red. Fitting, I thought to myself, like blood.

"Sasuke. Leave." I didn't sound intimidating at all. I sounded weary and tired. It was ironic that after all this time of caring so much, I finally didn't. After trying for so long and even without his physical presence he had affected my moods and emotions.

"You've changed." He said slowly and I closed my eyes deliberately so I wouldn't see his back; the only sight I've seen for far too long. I opened my eyes and he wasn't there anymore. It was like the whole thing was a dream (_a nightmare)_ I could make believe that there was nobody in this world named Sasuke Uchiha. I almost believed it too, standing there in the cleansing rain. Almost…had his words not been ringing my ears.

Of course I've changed Sasuke.

It's been a while, hasn't it?

_And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?  
>You lost the love<br>I loved the most_

And I learned to live, half-alive

I woke up in a cold sweat and would have screamed had I not clapped a hand over my mouth. I had had this nightmare enough times to know how to not attract unnecessary attention from people who would think that I was in trouble.

I panted and clutched the sheets as I tried to erase the feeling of cold fingers around my throat. I gulped down the water that I had learned to keep at my bed-side table and closed my eyes, trying not to think of black and black on pale skin.

_And now you want me one more time _

"Sakura-chan please. _Sakura._ It's just ramen." Naruto pleaded determinedly, but I refused to meet his eyes. Finally I glared at him and then Sasuke with all the venom I could muster. I planted my foot in the dirt and lifted my chin, daring them to try and move me.

Sakura…" Sasuke took a step forward. I could feel my breathing speed up. The situation had become emotionally dangerous all too quickly.

"come," was the one monosllabic word that he said. That was the last straw. I cast a frightened look at Sasuke's face before turning tail and running. _Again. _

In my bed, curled in layers of covers and blankets I laughed hollowly at the entire mess. "_come_," Heaven forbid an Uchiha learn to ask rather than demand ever in his life. Not now had he asked, not ever. There was a time, I mused, when I would have come willingly; I had even offered to. So trustingly that it scared me now.

_Who do you think you are?  
>Runnin' round leaving scars <em>

I can feel the scars you left on my heart. I tried my best to let them heal but you just had to rip them open again. I know all about scars thanks to you. I'm a medic now; one of the best. You just didn't stick around long enough to see. Would you believe me if I told you?

Sometimes I'm not sure whether or not you're stuck in the past Sasuke…not able to see past that little girl who asked you for dates and professed her love to you. You told me that I've changed, but who were you actually telling it to? Me? Or yourself?

_Collecting your jar of hearts  
>And tearing love apart<br>You're gonna catch a cold  
>From the ice inside your soul <em>

I had consented to ramen after Naruto's incessant asking, but he somehow failed to let me know that you would be there as well. So here I am glaring at you with as much hatred as I can muster while you sit there and pick at your ramen delicately. Must be those clan manners that were bred into you.

it's a little irritating how my heated gaze doesn't seem to be affecting you at all. This must be how Naruto felt all those years ago when you wouldn't even look at him.

It's weird how my two teammates embody opposite elements. Naruto has a fire within him; a fire that burns bright and hot and warms everyone near him. You however possess all the human characteristics of a block of ice. I shook my head sadly.

One day, you're going to melt, and nobody will remember you after Naruto, Kakashi, and I are gone. They will remember "the Uchiha traitor" but not _you_. But do you care? I sincerely doubt it.

_So don't come back for me  
>Who do you think you are?<em>

I hear you're asking all around

_If I am anywhere to be found _

The rumors are that Sasuke Uchiha has been hanging around the hospital lately. How do I know? The tittering hordes of girls, some of our nurses included, that have been lingering and talking about how "absolutely gorgeous" he is and then proceeded to sigh and gaze into the starry distance.

The older nurses and doctors had looked on in askance, for they remembered how badly he had betrayed us and the havoc he wreaked on the ninja world. I refused to let my ever-active mind think of reasons why he might have been at the hospital.

_But I have grown too strong  
>To ever fall back in your arms<em>

It was raining again. I could feel rivulets of water streaming down my neck and into my shirt, soaking it through. The feeling of water trapped in my eyelashes and streaming down my face reminded me eerily of those times years before when I cried often. This situation was heart wrenching and familiar. Except we weren't in any street, we were in my front of my apartment. And I hadn't chased after him, it had been the opposite.

Well as close to chasing as Sasuke can get. I had been just about to enter when I felt his chakra signature flicker into existence behind me. I tried not to think of how long he could have been following me. It took all of my willpower not to ignore him and just quietly slip into the house, and sink into my soft bed. His penetrating gaze was focused on the back of my head, and as I turned around, his eyes found mine.

_Dear, it took so long just to feel alright  
>Remember how to put back the light in my eyes<br>Cause you broke all your promises  
>And now you're back<br>You don't get to get me back _

We stood there for what felt like an eternity. Finally he opened his mouth, and said the three words I would never never never in an eternity expect to escape from his mouth.

"I love you" (echo, echo, echo, echo)

Why was I not alerted when the apocalypse started? Sasuke, emotionally constipated Sasuke just confessed his love to me. Sasuke the traitor, Sasuke the ice cube, Sasuke Uchiha. No it didn't happen. It's probably just Naruto as a bunshin.

Choosing not to take into account that the childhood crush that he harbored for me was long gone and that he was now relatively more mature nowadays I narrowed my eyes. So that blond twit thinks he can fool me _and _get away with this? Ambitious little bastard, isn't he?

I lazily sent a kunai flying towards him to hide the specialized chakra scalpel I had also thrown. _That_ would disrupt his chakra flow and revert the jutsu back to his original form. However I did not expect to be startled out of my wits when "Sasuke" activated his sharingan and dodged the chakra scalpel (though it wasn't intended to hurt him).

I was flabbergasted for the second time that day. It really was him. His eyes narrowed in accusation and I said, stunned, "I thought it was..Naruto," He deactivated his bloodline trait and as my words registered in his brain a modicum of hurt appeared on his face. Just barely. Actually, I might have been imagining it. Was that slight furrow between his eyebrows hurt, anger, annoyance, irritation, or hunger?

I shit you not, it was pretty hard to read this guy. I swallowed as he started to move towards me. I backpedaled to account for his sudden need for proximity (before this moment if I ever heard Sasuke, wanted, and any human contact, in a sentence I would probably laugh myself to death). But there was a limit to how far I could back up. My back came into contact with my door with a wet squish (blame the now soaking wet shirt).

But Sasuke was still advancing. He stopped barely an inch away from my face and I noticed just how tall he really was. Like he needed to be any more intimidating. "Sasuke" I said in warning as he bent down and next to my ear he whispered "Sakura Haruno I love you" I couldn't take it anymore. I kicked the door down with my (thank you Tsunade-shishou) super strength and bolted to my bedroom.

_Don't come back for me  
>Don't come back at all <em>

Sasuke (the bane of my existence) followed and closed the door softly. I turned and looked at him, and finally I realized I could run no longer. I loved him. I knew it, and so did the rest of the world, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. I just didn't know whether I could survive being hurt by him again. I looked up at him and realized that if I told him to get out, he would.

He would probably get out of my life as well. Sasuke always did have a knack for taking things to the extreme. I sighed. "I love you too," I said.

_Who do you think you are? _

I reached up and cautiously traced his jaw. I wasn't sure whether his soul had healed enough for this. Apparently, for though he tensed, he closed his eyes in a show of trust. Or maybe he just didn't think I was strong enough to hurt him. We stood there like that for a moment.

Then he opened his eyes again and the smoldering look in them made my knees weak and my heart beat audibly against my chest. He bent his head down and I didn't know what to expect. His eyes were full of wicked promises to be fulfilled and I wondered what he saw in mine. Did he see the love I held for him even now?

_Who do you think you are? _

His lips brushed mine, light as a feather, but the faint touch was enough to illicit an instinctual response.

Who do you think you are?

I tangled my hands in his hair and he placed his hands around my waist. But then I pulled away, gasping for breath. I was scared. Who knows where that road would have taken us. I was satisfied to see that he was breathing hard too.

What do you know, it has hormones! Sasuke gave me a smirk (one that I haven't seen for far too long) that pulled at my heartstrings like it had so many years ago, and I realized I could never let him go. I never had, and I never will, and it doesn't matter how hard I try. Well that doesn't seem like such a bad thing now, I thought, as he bent down for more.

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><p>"The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned." - William Somerset Maugham<p>

A/N: So I have edited this maybe 12,834 times but I was never fully satisfied with it. The last quarter seemed a little too jovial for the somber mood of the beginning. I also didn't know if Sasuke was in character AT ALL. My logic was that this entire fic takes place over 6 months to a year, and that seemed like enough time for Sasuke to regain a little bit of his humanity AND fall in love with Sakura.

P.S. For those of you still reading - check out I Love You More Than You Love Him and tell me if you want it to become a chapter fic! I also have the beginnings of another Sasusaku chapter fic plot/summary/synopsis up there, so tell me if you want to see that happen!

Thanks for reading! :)


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